No, Alicia Machado Is NOT a Porn Star

CLOUD COOKOOLAND—Anyone with any sense already knows that Donald Trump is a sexist jackass, and nowhere was that more in evidence than when he called former Miss Universe Alicia Machado "Miss Piggy" because she's a few pounds heavier than when she won her title back in 1996, and stated that she was also a "porn star," apparently because she once posed topless for the Spanish language edition of Playboy magazine—all because Machado has come out in support of Trump's opponent, Hillary Clinton.

Of course, at the very mention of "Miss Universe" and "porn star" in the same sentence, the mainstream media went into a feeding frenzy, because "as everyone knows," once you've done porn, you're infected for life with the dread disease "porn cooties"—and the fact that no one was able to come up with a single movie in which Machado performed any sexual act hardly made a difference.

"One of the worst things he said was about a woman in a beauty contest," Clinton stated during Monday night's presidential debate. "He loves beauty contests, supporting them and hanging around them. And he called this woman 'Miss Piggy.' Then he called her 'Miss Housekeeping,' because she was Latina. Donald, she has a name."

"Where did you find this? Where did you find this?" Trump immediately interjected.

"Her name is Alicia Machado," Clinton revealed.

Trump doubled down the following day, , "She was the worst we ever had. The worst. The absolute worst. She was impossible. She was a Miss Universe contestant and ultimately a winner, who they had a tremendously difficult time with as Miss Universe." (Trump was one of the owners of the pageant.)

Conservatives, of course, got into the gutter on the subject immediately, with the right-wing online rag The Daily Caller headlining its on the subject "Porn Star Campaigns for Hillary Clinton," claiming that, "Snippets of an adult film starring Machado are available on multiple free porn websites"—a claim since retracted, though "journalist" Alex Peiffer replaced it with the phrase, "is in a sextape." And indeed, Pornhub claimed one scene with Machado (a scene it had as starring Angel Dark), XVideos claimed three, and the Spanish-language version of XNXX.com linked to one. But every right-wing pundit from Rush Limbaugh to Sean Hannity was only too happy to spread The Daily Caller's charge to their listeners/viewers, and like any Big Lie, it's now considered gospel by Trump supporters.

The problem? Machado has never done a sexually explicit video; all of those sites somehow mistook—or deliberately relabeled—once-popular porn star Angel Dark for the beauty queen, with the sites linking most often to Dark's performance in Zero Tolerance's Apprentass 4, which was released in early 2006.

It is expected that several adult producers will now make offers to Machado to star in an actual sex tape.

Pictured, l-r: Alicia Machado and Angel Dark.